ThE CaSuaLtY ...

I'm gonna be honest ...
my neighbors are slightly worthless ...
They are never here
when I need them the most ...

For example ...
As I was getting ready today
I noticed a
GIGANTIC
spider lurking above ...

I panicked ...
I'm too scared to kill spiders!
Spiders are the
enemy!
They definitely come in first
place over boys ...

I ran to see if my neighbor was
home ...
ANY neighbor ...

NONE.
ZIP.
ZILCH.

It was up to me ...
So I did what I had to do ...
I really REALLY contemplated it before
I took action ...

But yes, there was a casualty ...
And it was this months Cosmo ...

ThE BrEaK Up...

So, downstairs dude broke up with me
this weekend by moving out ...

"Oh, you were dating??" You ask.

The answer is NO, we were definitely not ...

But honestly, I am taking it a little
bit personally ...

In the begining when I moved in a
few months ago,
I admit,
our relationship started out pretty rocky ...

But then I got him trained so well!
He stopped throwing parties,
his music was at a respectable level ...

I'm not sure where we went wrong? ...

Maybe it was the night when I was wasted
and he knocked on my door
to tell me god knows what and I
barely opened the door
because I was definitely not wearing something
a neighbor should see ...

Maybe he was jealous of all
of the sex ...
all of the sex HE wasn't getting ...

Point is ...
it is very empty here right now ...

And he didn't even say goodbye ...

RoGeR

This is Roger ...

He swam here from Florida ...

The Truth Is ...

... that men don't really show up
at your door unexpected,
with flowers and
a bottle of wine ...

The truth is ...
that men don't
all of a sudden
realize they made a huge mistake
in letting you go ...

The truth is ...
women are JUST AS
suborn as men ...

The truth is ...
that chivalry really is dead ...

Us women need to accept that
and move on ...

Fairytales are only
stories in childrens books ...

MeN ...

There has
GOT
to be one boy
out there who doesn't

COMPLETELY

SUCK.

RiGhT nOw...

I mostly just want to get
married ...

I have always said that
I will
NEVER
get married ...

But right now that's all I can
think about ...

BaBy L ...

Death is a strange thing ...
You never know when it is going to happen,
how it is going to happen,
or what the person is experiencing when it is
happening ...

As an employee in the PICU
I like to think that all of the little babies
can hear me when I talk to
them during the night, no matter
how sedated they are ...
I hope that they find comfort in it and that
it relaxes them so they don't
feel so alone ...

One of the most important things
was to tell them not
to be afraid if Jesus called them ...

I have quite the little group of
AMAZING
babies up there with Jesus right now ...

And I know they will be there to
accept Baby L with open arms and lots of love ...

It's so sweet to think of them
all up there relaxed and happy ...
Such a change from the pain and suffering
they experienced in their short time
with us here ...

I can only hope that they remember
me and are there to greet me with open arms
and little smiles when my
time arrives ...

LiViNg iN ApArTmEnTs ...

A couple of things I love ...

1. Across the courtyard neighbor is trying to read
his roommates mail -
how do I know?
He has the letter pressed against the sliding glass
door against the sunlight ...

2. Someone below me is BBQing ...

3. Across and on the corner neighbor is masturbating
with his blinds open again ...

4. Downstairs neighbor hasn't been able to make
eye contact with me since my
weekend of bed pounding into the wall ...

Oh the joys of apartment complexes

YoU aRe WhAt YoU eAt ...

A fridge tells a lot about someone ...
What is in there and how it is organized ...
Or not so organized ...

GiRL bEeR pOnG ...

Is going to take over ...
Watch out boys ;)

CoFfEe

Mmmmm ...
My favorite place ...
This is probably the
GREATEST
coffee shop EVER ...
The inside is decorated
AMAZINGLY
and the music they play fits
it perfectly ...

DoWnToWn

This is a pic I took on my way to work today ...
It's of downtown Spokane ...
I just thought it looked kind of neat and peaceful ...

KiKi

This is Kiki with her friend Beans ...
They are newly acquainted ...
Beans CLEARLY does not know what he is in for ...
I tried to tell him ...
But he INSISTED on jumping into my
purse at the pet store ...

O ChArMiNg OnE ...

Respiratory therapist at work = HOT.

We are friends... at work ...
And ALL I could think about last night for some reason was ripping off
his clothes and having sex with him ...

AS A ONE TIME DEAL.

Because he is a one time deal kinda guy.
And so am I really ...

BUT

He is also the kind of guy that no matter HOW MUCH
you tell yourself that is it just one time and NO STRINGS

YOU. WILL. BE. ATTACHED.

And then turn into that CRAZY GIRL who slept with the hot guy ONCE
and freaked out over anyone who talked to him and so on ...

BECAUSE HE. IS. THAT. CHARMING.

BUT I SO WANT TO.

I WONT.

BUT I WANT TO.

IT WILL HAPPEN. EVENTUALLY ...

HiGh MaiNtEnAnCe ...

This is my overly expensive cat, the one I didn't even purchase ...

I have had her for 1.5 years ...
And she has cost me well over $1000 ...

I am wondering how much more I will end up investing in this fancy 4 legged rascal ...

CoMmiTmEnT IsSuEs ..

I so obviously have commitment issues.
For example, I have moved FIVE times in the
last TWO years ...

Although, I have only lived in TWO complexes.
So clearly I don't feel tied down or TOO committed
to the complexes ...

But I can say, I like variety ...
So maybe I am just exploring all they have to offer?

Or, it could be that roommates are HARD.

Seriously, they are the most challenging thing I have ever
attempted.
And frankly, I am done dealing with them ...

"Put this in my file," I told my apartment manager, "Don't
EVER let me move after telling you, 'Oh, I found this great
person, I think we will make such GREAT roommates!' Because
we WON'T,"

At first roommates are great... you are friends, you share
some laughs, share some pizza ...

THEN things take a turn for the worse, there are no
more laughs .. they steal your pizza ..
Common courtesy somehow disappeared like a
streaker into the night ...

If I were to make a chart my commitment levels would look
like so:

Vehicles - 2+ years
Job - 1 year
Residence - 6 to 9 months
Boys - 2 to 3 months

... On the bright side ... at least I have my priorities straight ...

BaThRoOm WiNnEr ...

This was probably

THE MOST DISGUSTING
bathroom I visited in January ...

And why yes, it was at a guys house ...
How about that?

Haha

Even though it's a gross picture
I can't look away ...
There is just so much there,
So much happening ..

It's such a disaster that it almost looks
really artistic and cool ...

This picture should actually be in a magazine
as a beer advertisement ...

DaD sTaLkEr ...

So there is this adorable dad that waits for his son
to get out of school everyday at 2:50 pm.

I myself am waiting for a child to get out of the same
school at the same time is how I noticed ...

I actually look forward to seeing him every
day at precisely 2:50 pm.
And I have made it my mission in life to stalk him ..

I usually just stare at him from my car from a distance,
[That's not creepy right?]
but today I got ballsy and stood 10 ft
away from him as we waited for our children ...

As I stared him down today I pondered a whole
bunch of ideas such as ...

Is he married?
What does he do for a living?
Maybe a single dad?
What if he is the nanny?

I smiled at him at he walked by, which he wasn't
even expecting, he hurriedly looked down and looked
back up again with a smile ...

And I DID notice that he wasn't wearing a ring ...

I will keep you updated on this story
which I am naming
THE CUTE DAD CHRONICLES

PaNiC

You know when you want to be someplace
other than where you are, like
reeeaaallllllllyyyy
badly???

But you can't get to the place you
reeeaaallllllllyyyy
want to be for at least another couple of days???

And you KNOW you are missing out on
SOOOOO
much not being there???

So you start to panic, because you are feeling
MAJOR
separation anxiety and are feeling SOOOO left
out and really just want to be involved ...

As you are dwelling on what you miss out
on, you start breathing heavy and your chest
gets tight ...

You start feeling MAJORLY overwhelmed and THANK GOD
for skin because without it it feels like you
might explode EVERYWHERE into a
thousand pieces ...

Well ... this is exactly how I am feeling about
Boise right now ...
It really might just be the death of me ...

All I have to say is

THANK GOD FOR SKIN AND XANAX

SeReNdiPiTy

I am not one of those who believes in fate,
I honestly do not believe that
the future holds
events that will inevitably happen ...

I think we live our lives the way we think is
best and that our daily
choices lead us to where we are presently.

However ...

I do believe in serendipity,
I think that most of us usually experience
unexpected and fortunate discoveries
quite often, which definitely lead
us to make the decisions we do...

But do serendipity and fate go together?

Some could say yes,
fate has you discover all of those
fortunate events to lead you to where
you are meant to be in life ...

Others could argue that no,
serendipity is completely by accident
and random that affects you as you are
just sailing through life ...

I like to think that serendipity happens to the
best of us thanks to karma. Or
that maybe we kind of just
stumble across it when we are least expecting it ...

No matter how serendipity is linked to
our lives it is exciting and special,
and true probably everything DOES happen
for a reason ...
whether it be because of fate or not.
We should all be so lucky to experience a little
serendipity throughout or lives ...

hAiR dOoS

Changing your hairstyle is a
MAJOR event ...

Not only is it a dramatic change,
but it can also be emotionally scarring ...

All of that stress you endure
while watching the
stylist crop away your locks with what sometimes
could be mistaken for surgical tools ...

And you just KNOW they messed up a few
steps back because
what they were doing looked completely
awkward ...

You need to have complete and total
trust in this person
because you are

LITERALLY

putting your head in their hands ...

This is definitely a moment
where you need to be more than
110%
positive that this is the style you want
to live with for the next few months ..

Because unlike money that grows on trees
hair grows EVEN slower ...

Operator Error

Who knew that booking flights was such
a hard and complicated task? ...

I never knew ...

I fly all of the time and have never had
any difficulties ...

That is until about a week ago, when I decided
to jump online to make arrangements to
head to Boise to hang out with my cousin
for a week ...

[Whom I just promoted to sister]

First mistake I noticed hours after making
the reservation was that I got the

Departure/Destination

categories mixed up.
So I had to call and get that all straightened
out.

A few days later I realized I
left off the last letter of my last name.
And so I had to call and get that fixed.

Then I realize that I forgot to use my rewards
number.
I had to call for that.

All I have to say is

THANK GOD

for the Southwest Airlines customer service.
That girl deserves a raise for dealing
with people like me ...

StRaNgE iNdiViDuALs ...

For some reason I have just been
REALLY struggling in the

MAN DEPARTMENT

lately ...

It's like shopping at Nordstrom,
I know what I am looking for and
conveniently it is NEVER on the racks
when I want it ...

So I always end up settling fot that one piece
of clothing that you KNOW is probably NOT going
to look or feel

FLATTERING

but you try it on anyway ...


Only to return it to the rack

[Maybe even leave in the dressing room
thrown into a corner in a ball]


IMMEDIATELY

And you continue to repeat this cycle no matter
how treacherous, uncomfortable,
embarrassing, and boring the
whole effort may be.

The point is, how does one ever really
find that perfect piece?

And will it be worth the price ...

ShY bOyS

Here is the scoop ...

I have worked in the pediatric intensive care unit
at the local hospital for 4 months now ...

Every shift at precisely 4 am the cutest xray
tech makes his rounds in my unit.

And every time he leaves the floor I always
smile at him with much enthusiasm.

Conveniently he ALWAYS happens to be
looking down as he walks by me to leave the unit.

WELL

This morning is a different story ...
After 4 whole months of his looking down he
caught me off guard and was actually looking

AT ME

As he left the unit this morning.
He even SMILED.

And then he said something ...
He said it very fast, and quietly, like he was
unsure of himself ...

"Have a good lawyer,"

.....

That is what it sounded like he said ...

I was so CONFUSED ...

I smiled at him ...

But I was SO CONFUSED ...

I couldn't fathom for the life of my why he
would say that ...

So I sat there ...
With a stupid smile on my face ...

AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING BACK

Poor guy .. takes him 4 months to get up the
courage to say something, let alone LOOK at me ...

I realized 10 minutes later that he probably said

"Have a good morning"

So remember this boys ...

When you are too shy to speak to a pretty lady and
it takes you months upon months to get up the courage
to say something, at least speak LOUDLY and CLEARLY

DeAtH

... it just goes to show how quickly things can change ...


RIP Baby Girl "I"

ThIs YeArS tHeMe

... is bathrooms.

The cousin and I have been going strong
drinkin this new year ...

And for some strange
reason I have called her and for some other
strange reason, taken pics of the bathrooms
each and everytime I have been out ...

Tonight, while I called her from a bathroom
(ironically)
We decided it to be legit to save all of the
bathroom pics and will post them later on ...

It will make for some pretty great stories,
I can promise that ...

NeW YeAr

Considering how bad last year was for
my cousin and I, we figured this year
would probably not be much better.
So we decided to kick this year off with
a bang and really test our liver functions
as best we can ...

So far we have drank the new year in
quite well.

And the nights not over, and we are
far from sober ...

nEcEsSiTiEs ...

Last night the weather prediction led me
to believe there was a pretty big chance
I could get snowed in at work ...

So I made sure to bring the necessities ...

My cell phone charger and Xanax ...

SuBjEcT: X BoYfRiEnDs

Why is it so hard to just say SO LONG
and wave goodbye to the memories of
the ONE ex boyfriend that just so happened
to be your soulmate, the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?

Why is it so hard to just forget and move on?

How is it that everything reminds you of that
person and how great it would have been?

All of this pain and confusion causing sleepless
nights and injure current relationships ...

And yet ... we STILL hold onto hope ...